I try not to impose my values and beliefs on my friends.
I try to be a supportive friend. And if I can't, I try not to rub it in your face, so I shut up. I won't say the things you don't want to hear, to the best of my ability.

But there are lines, that should not be crossed. Values that should not be compromised.

Just because it's fine with you, doesn't mean I have to be alright with it. I respect your decision to be okay with it. You respect my decision not to be.

Sometimes, there just isn't any middle ground to be found.

It's that simple.

Really, sometimes all you want from your friends is for them to give you a little credit. Because if they can't see you for who you are, then who can?

Tonight's one of those nights where you let the darkness in and swallow you whole.

Sigh.

//

How is it I feel like I'm in the same place as when I was 20 but a whole 6 years have gone by?

It's a really sobering thought.

But anyhow, this is supposed to be a shameless, happy post because it's THAT time of the year again. How is it I want everything, and yet I want nothing? Does that even make sense?!

Anyhow if you do want to get me something, here's what you can do.

• Make a donation to the World Food Program. They NEED it.
• Lots of time with my friends. Eating, cycling, chillaxing (with copious amounts of alcohol and half-naked people. WOOHOO!)...It feels like time is running out. But how can it be when we're only in our 20s?! Don't buy me anything. Just make time for me.

Of course, I won't mind if you want to get me some quirky looking thing for me to remember you by. :)

//

I wonder if I'll ever feel whole.

I really like this song by 刘力扬. It was the ending song for The Ultimatum and it's finally out on her latest offering. It's such a sad, sad song.

"是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼 眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了，快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由"

She also has a song called 礼物 with the same tune but the lyrics are different. Apparently the lyrics of that song is written by her but I prefer 寂寞光年 much, much more.

Interesting article at Cult of Mac's The Man Who Named the iMac an Wrote Think Different.

“Dell and Apple: It’s night and day,” Segall says. “It’s a transactional world Dell lives in. It’s all about numbers. Everything they say about Apple making products for themselves is true. Apple — it’s about changing the world. For everyone else, it’s about the money.”

It's one of those days when you're just happy to be who you are.

It's a MARVELOUS feeling.

I love my colleagues. They're a joy to hang with and put up with my endless nonsense. WHERE TO FIND? My boss and BFF take turns to drive us out for lunches. (Today was at Wahiro where the sashimi set was terrific, as usual, and dessert was RUM RUM RAISIN at Udders that left me slightly euphoric or maybe I was mabok. Yums! But I digress.) Dian makes us prata and murtabak for breakfast. Pino lets me abuse her ALL THE TIME. Mary cracks me up with her Sheldon-ness. Work is usually a rather enjoyable event because of them. How blessed am I?

Time for a good book to cap off the great day.

Give thanks people. We have much to be thankful for!

Does that make sense? It does to me.

:\

Anyhow, this is supposed to be a happy post. So let's forget about the angst.

I am very blessed to have many friends who care. They may not be there all the time, but there are enough of them that it feels like there is always someone there, all the time.

I've been going through a I-don't-want-to-be-alone-if-I-can-help-it phase which is very strange considering how I usually need a whole lot of me time. So far, things have been going well. I'm not usually alone. I meet (new) people. I have fun. I laugh. I eat. I drink (more than I should since I'm not supposed to be drinking AT ALL). I'm happy.

(Though I still feel lonely but loneliness is really just a state of mind, right?)

And not just am I blessed with friends, I'm blessed with friends who READ. What this means is I now have many, many books to read at home. Bliss! Even if more than half of them are currently children's books. Hee.

It's great to give thanks. I'm richer than I realise.

And 4 days to Dot's wedding! OMG!

I have no idea where this is coming from.

HAHAHA.

I was in a chat with Charlene and Ren (aka Amex Lee). I thought I was talking to Charlene and wondering why the hell Amex was so quiet. At the end of the conversation, then I realised, I was talking to Amex ALL ALONG! HAHA. I crack myself up.

//

The rainy weather prompted me to change my nick to why does it always rain on me, which is a song by Travis. Then I looked at my contact list and there you have Tim with his you can stand under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh. These rainy day nicks are fun!

//

I'm on a Travis roll now and it's pure audio bliss. Somebody remind me why I am not going for Travis? -pulls hair-

//

It's really little things like these that amuse me to no end and make my day. -beams-